Anger is the emotion that allows us to protect ourselves. It allows us to protect ourselves and from those who would harm us, including the people we love. Anger allows us to say “no” to people and situations that are not good for us.
Sometimes people get the idea that anger is a bad emotion, which causes them to suppress their anger in unhealthy ways. When anger is suppressed, a person tends to sacrifice their own needs trying to please others and fails to take healthy care of themselves. Suppressing anger causes a person to lose their personal will power. It turns them into easy prey for those who take advantage of others. It allows others to “leach” off of a person, which ultimately drains the person with suppressed anger’s energy. Low energy manifests as feelings of chronic fatigue, discouragement, loss of enthusiasm and joy in life, and ultimately full-blown depression.
The body’s ability to fight infection and detoxify becomes compromised in the person who suppresses their anger. Their lack of a healthy immune system can result in frequent infections, parasitic invasions, auto-immune disorders and cancer. Detoxification may also be compromised resulting in toxicity, constipation, bladder problems, liver and gall bladder diseases and environmental illnesses.
Suppressing anger also can contribute to shallow breathing and a hiatal hernia. Holding back anger can increase tension in the neck and shoulders which can result in frequent headaches and ultimately a “hunched over” defeated posture.
The Find Strength remedy is helpful for “people pleasers” and enablers, who tolerate abuse and neglect instead of standing up for themselves. It helps people to set healthy boundaries for others and have the courage to communicate openly and honestly in relationships. These benefits are created by the following flower essences.
When one lacked the love and nurturing they needed as a child, they may feel unworthy of receiving the love and support they need. As such they may strive to hard to please others, hoping to prove to themselves and others they are worthy of having their wants and needs met. Mariposa Lily heals issues with mother-infant bonding, such as being an unwanted child or not having the love and nurturing you needed as a child. It helps a person feel that they are worthy of being treated with love and respect. It also helps mothers to be more loving with their children
Pine helps people who suffer from undeserved guilt and shame. They engage in excessive self-criticism and responsible for the mistakes and problems of others. Pine promotes self-acceptance and self-forgiveness and helps a person to free themselves from “toxic” shame, that is feeling a sense of shame from where they really didn’t do anything hurtful or bad to others.
Centaury helps people who are weak-willed and easily dominated by others. These people have a hard time saying no to inappropriate demands and expectations of others. They also don’t take care of their own needs. It teaches them to serve from inner strength, not from weakness or fear.
This is an important remedy for people who cannot face or accept their own anger. It helps people who suppress their anger to recognize it, acknowledge it and communicate it in a healthy way.
When a person can’t face certain emotions they may “transmute” that emotional energy and use another emotion to cover it up. Fuchsia is particularly helpful for people who cry when they should feel angry. It helps them get in touch with their real emotions and communicate them honestly.
Empathy is a good trait, but some people are so empathetic that they become emotional “sponges,” soaking up the emotions of those around them. This means that other people’s “negative” emotions can not only knock them off balance, they can even make the person physically ill. Pink Yarrow helps a person create appropriate emotional boundaries for others, without losing the ability to be aware of how others are feeling.
Goldenrod is helpful when a person is easily influenced by others and has a hard time standing up to peer pressure. It promotes a feeling of well-developed individuality and an inner sense of self-balance, allowing a person to retain their individuality within a group setting.
Flower Essence Repertory by Patricia Kaminski
Flower Power by Anne McIntyre
Bach Flower Remedies Form and Functionby Julian Bernard